Saturday, February 23, 2008
Stating My Case
Do you ever have those situations in which you pray about and kind of know the answer, ok you totally know the answer, yet you still keep stating your case. That's where I find myself today. Last night I got real honest with God and just broke down. I have a friend who I have learned so much from, don't go a day without thinking about them and whom I love so much and after my next statement you will probably doubt that and that's ok I don't doubt it at all. I find myself wanting to run as far away as I can from them. I keep stating all these reasons why its no big deal for me to stop fighting for the friendship, good ones you know, like distance, busyness all the ones that I know are ridiculous but make me feel better. Because when I get down to it I'm telling God I don't want to fight because it makes me vulnerable and in the past it hasn't worked out so well. Stupid I know, but it is the battle I am dealing with today. I'm trying so hard not to let past relationships effect this one yet it's easier said then done. So please pray that I would keep fighting for it, besides I know that if I ran I would end up bringing more pain on myself then they could ever inflect.
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I think I can understand somewhat how you're feeling. Not sure what friend or what situation that is making you feel this way. I have a friend who seems to want to end our friendship after her becoming upset with me at graduation. I have tried to get back in touch with her multiple times since then but she has not responded. I don't really know if I should fight for it anymore since she feels that I'm in the wrong and I feel that the ball is in her court...but anyways, I'm blathering. At least you're being honest to yourself by admitting that the right thing to do is not always the easiest thing to do. I am hoping for you to keep fighting for your friendship!
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