Fasting

I've been thinking about fasting a lot lately, not really sure what I thought or felt but it kept coming up. So after a week of thinking and praying and it coming up in the book I was reading I decided it was time that I got serious and became intentional about somethings. I decided to start my fast today and it will last through friday. During the five days I'm skipping breakfast and lunch for some focused quiet time and I am also keeping the tv off untill after 5. I know this might sound odd but I realize since being home my days are what get away from me and not my nights. Randomly during the day I will be bored and sit down for a minute and get wrapped up in a two hour show. I also realized that I found myself in the kitchen a lot. It all just became so obvious to me that my time during the day was what I wasted most. 

I want my time to be used well and I want to remove distractions. I want to be more intentional with my praying without ceasing. I want more wisdom and strength. I want more self control. I want God to be my first thought when something goes on. I want to love and not be selfish. I want to do something with the days he gives me. I want to have discipline. I want to look at someone and see the creation God has made and nothing else. I want to give. I want to keep my heart pure. I want to put my heart and hands in the area of greatest needs, and I'm learning that that isn't always where I feel like being. I want to be broken and honest. I want to allow God to be all I need and rely on. I want to be like the moon and reflect the SON. I want to love regardless.

Now I know that's a lot and I don't expect for this fast to be a switch that gets flipped and all those things become true. But I also know that God has called me to a closer walk with him and I know this is a step in that direction.  I know that there will always be good days and bad days (and I'm so THANKFUL for my friends who love me on those bad days) And there are battles I will win and ones I will lose (and I'm so THANKFUL that I know I'm already fighting from victory in the war). But I also know that tomorrow has enough worry of it own and I can do nothing to change it. I can only seize the divine appointments God has placed for me in this day. So tonight I am asking that you would pray that I would stand strong and make it through this fast, that I would die to self, and that I might just get a better grasp on living this life like my King did!